My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
