if only i could text you this smell
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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