so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
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You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
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That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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