He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
whose parrot is this?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
