I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
