Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
