you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i've created a new STD.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
