Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
