Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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