How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize