Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
