Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
