i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
