I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
