is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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