Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
