But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
