We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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