Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
