Don't you send me to vm
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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