i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
