Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
