I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
