If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
