If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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