My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
