You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
