Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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