On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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