not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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