Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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