Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
