I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
