i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
