dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
