Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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