So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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