So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
