dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize