Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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