I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
