Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
