I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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