once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize