don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
