I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
