Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
