My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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