A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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