Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
