Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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