Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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