i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
