put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
