awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize