i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize