mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
