No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize