thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
