I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
my shit smells like andre
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
