thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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