also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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