I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize