So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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