Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
