We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
