Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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